There Once Was A Man And He Couldn′t Cry
He Hadn't Cried For Years And For Years Napalmed
Babies, The Movie Love Story For Instance Could Not
Produce Tears As A Child He Had Cried
As All Children Will Then At Some Point His
Tear Ducts All Ran Dry Grew To Be A
Man, It All Hit The Fan Things Got Bad,
But He Couldn′t Cry His Dog Got Ran
Over, His Wife Up And Left Him After That
He Got Sacked From His Job Lost His Arm
In The War, Was Left At By A Whore
Ah, But Sill Not A Sniffle Or Sob
Well, His Novel Was Refused, And His Movie Was
Panned His Big Broadway Show Was A Flop He
Got Sent Off To Jail, You Guessed It, No
Bail Oh, But Still Not A Dribble Or Drop
In Jail He Was Beaten, Bullied And Buggered
And Made To Make License Plates Water And Bread
Was All He Was Fed Not Once Did A
Tear Stain His Face Doctors Were Called In,
Scientists, Too Theologians Were Last And Practically Least They
All Agreed Sure Enough; This Is No Cream Puff
Oh, But In Fact An Insensitive Beast He
Was Taken From Jail And Placed In A Place
For The Insensitive And The Insane He Made Lot
Of Friends And He Played Lot Of Chess And
He Cried Every Time It Would Rain Once
It Rained Forty Days And It Rained Forty Nights
And He Cried, And He Cried, And He Cried,
And He Cried On The Forty-first Day He Passed
Away He Just Dehydrated And Died He Went
Up To Heaven, Located His Dog After That, He
Rejoined His Arm Below All The Critics, They Took
It All Back Cancer Robbed The Whore Of Her
Charm His Ex-wife Died Of Stretch Marks His
Ex-employer Went Broke The Theologians Were Finally Found Out
Right Down To The Ground The Jail House Burned
Down And The Earth Suffered Perpetual Drought